Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
