Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is Oprah even human
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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