Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
