I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
