smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
