just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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