that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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