Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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