Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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