did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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