Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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