Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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