yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
