help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
