I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
