can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
