My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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