It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
