I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
