Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals