Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

Fav 22 3563 969
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

Fav 56 4340 1126
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

Fav 90 1206 3131
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

Fav 41 9762 1880
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

Fav 21 1475 6958
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?

Fav 22 6862 852
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(936): View more from Texas

You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

Fav 18 2393 6959
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(337): View more from Louisiana

Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

Fav 9 1140 1509
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me

Fav 1 59 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT