Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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  (615): Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low http://tfl.nu/4tyo
  Replies (24) Good night (3295) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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  (828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea
  Replies (96) Good night (1387) Bad night (4571)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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  (409): white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character http://tfl.nu/8uci
  Replies (13) Good night (6244) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3777) Bad night (2036)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.

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  (518): It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet. http://tfl.nu/rqq2
  Replies (8) Good night (4965) Bad night (1089)
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  (315): View more from New York

  we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.

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  (315): we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks. http://tfl.nu/7ex7
  Replies (12) Good night (5327) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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  (651): I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old. http://tfl.nu/njv7
  Replies (13) Good night (5485) Bad night (1917)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.

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  (819): I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened. http://tfl.nu/vyw7
  Replies (4) Good night (2288) Bad night (758)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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  (774): It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world. http://tfl.nu/7olx
  Replies (16) Good night (2697) Bad night (686)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you

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  (262): When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you http://tfl.nu/zf8b
  Replies (8) Good night (3314) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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  (717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe
  Replies (4) Good night (1472) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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  (419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr
  Replies (11) Good night (4848) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.

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  (515): I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life. http://tfl.nu/bwnh
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.

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  (817): Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks. http://tfl.nu/jci6
  Replies (3) Good night (244) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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  (719): Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/h5no
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (327)

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