we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.