I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics