fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me