He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well