Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
