i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
