I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
