I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
