You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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