I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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