I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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