The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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