What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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