You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
