I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
