If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
