I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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