He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
