It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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