i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
