you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
