Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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