my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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