You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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