You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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