Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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