I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize