and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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