my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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