i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
