found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
