All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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