69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we're making bets on your personal life
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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