Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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