Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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