I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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