In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
