Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this will be a night to untag.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
