you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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