I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
