the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
