I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
