I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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