I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
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I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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