I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize