somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
