my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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