So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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