Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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