no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was confusing and full of hummus
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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