love makes seman taste better
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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