You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
