giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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